It's easy to train and measure work being done, but more difficult to communicate expected performance and evaluate soft skills. When managers don't address these skills?dependability, communication, working relationships, initiative, problem solving, adaptability and flexibility?performance drops and employee-relations problems can occur.

DEFINING EXPECTED BEHAVIOR
To work on soft skills, you must first communicate what kind of behavior you expect. For example, what do you mean when you say you want an employee to work well with others? You may want your employee to use a pleasant tone of voice and facial expressions, and demonstrate a willingness to help. Or you may want an employee who can acknowledge conflict, understand the other person's concerns and discuss a win-win solution.

Defining the desired behavior can be difficult, but you can look at what your most valued employees do that makes them work well with others.

It's crucial to give employees specific feedback. Comments such as: "has a good attitude" or "needs to work on attitude" don't help the employee repeat the desired behavior or change the inappropriate behavior. An effective positive feedback statement would be: "Your tone of voice and willingness to help the new patient this morning by offering him assistance demonstrated your fine ability to work with patients."

After you define and communicate your expectations, you can coach your employees on developing their soft skills. Here are some tips on coaching commonly required skills.

WORKING WITH OTHERS
Conflict in the workplace is inevitable, but productive employees need to constructively work through it. In addition to being a positive role model, managers must hold up mirrors so employees can see how their behavior impacts others. If it's producing negative results, the manager needs to suggest how to change the behavior.

A supervisor was trying to coach a senior technical employee on her abrasive manner when she trained coworkers. Her co-workers requested a different trainer, even though this employee was the most knowledgeable.

The supervisor could either remove her from the training role, or coach her on improving her interaction with others. He started by telling her, in specific terms, how her body language, facial expressions, tone of voice and words were making others not want to work with her. He actually demonstrated these behaviors for her.

Then he demonstrated appropriate behaviors: using a more patient tone of voice, smiling, using helping words and phrases, using body language with good eye contact when listening, and going to the other person's desk or computer to assist. He then said that he would monitor her behavior and ask the employees for feedback.

A manager can also help employees work with a variety of personalities to expand their ability to flex to different styles.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Working well with others stems from the ability to effectively communicate verbally and non-verbally. It's the ability to establish rapport and build a working relationship with coworkers, supervisors, patients, vendors, customers, or new contacts.

The key to rapport building is the art of conversation. Most people know how to answer questions, but they don't know how to build a relationship through conversation. When asking questions, actively listen without the intent to reply. These questions can be work related, hobby related, family related or interest related. Respond with sincere, positive comments. Acceptable times to build relationships are before and after meetings, during lunch and social gatherings. Informal conversation can occur during breaks or trips to the coffee station, passing in the hall or on the elevator.

After giving employees tools on how to converse, place them in situations where conversing is necessary, such as sales calls, business lunches, employee or patient meetings, social events with vendors, and community involvement. This skill may require more practice for more introverted employees.

INITIATIVE AND FOLLOW THROUGH
You shouldn't assume that an employee knows how to show initiative and follow-through with their job duties. Do you want him or her to suggest ideas at meetings, offer to help employees in other departments, help patients get to their final destinations in the facility, or always take a project a step further? Which tasks do you want employees to handle on their own versus checking with you? Next, tell the employee what level of communication you need upon completion, such as a verbal follow-up, voicemail or e-mail message.

ADAPTING TO CHANGE
Productive employees are resilient employees, and the best way to help people become more resilient is to provide training and varied work opportunities. If an employee has had the same job for 15 years with no changes or opportunities to learn new things, don't be surprised if he or she balks at any change in the work environment.

Being adaptable is a learned skill. Managers can coach employees on managing their reaction to change and depersonalizing the change. Help employees manage their stress by discussing the change and offering additional training.

Soft skill coaching is necessary to help employees be successful in the workplace. When managers communicate expected behavior and feedback along with providing opportunities to practice soft skills, employees can raise their performance bar.

Sue Romero is a human resources consultant and facilitator specializing in employee relations issues, manager coaching, management and team training. She has over 20 years experience coaching managers on enhancing their effectiveness. Her Web site is:  www.romeroconsulting.com.