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Managers everywhere are facing a monumental challenge in helping their employees and themselves move forward after the traumatic events of Sept. 11. The media's urging for us to "get back to work" or to conduct "business as usual" is easier said than done. The country is suffering a great loss and the grieving process has only begun.
How do we, as managers, move forward?
The Grieving Process
It's helpful to understand the grieving process and how it may translate to the workplace. People use a variety of coping mechanisms to deal with extremely difficult situations. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a well-known medical doctor and psychiatrist, identified five emotional stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.1 While her framework was based on the emotional responses to death, these stages also apply to the grieving process after a trauma or loss.
There is no set time or order of the stages. Some people may spend more time in one or more of the phases and shorter time in the others, or only experience some of them. People may experience them sequentially or return to a previous phase.
Denial. When we heard that planes targeted the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and crashed in Pennsylvania, many of us felt numb, shocked and disbelieving.
"It's surreal, like a science fiction movie," people said.
While those with family members who worked in these buildings or were in the airplanes faced immediate trauma, people who felt removed from the city or individuals were thankful that it didn't directly affect them. But in the aftermath, it did. In the workplace, employees were only going through the motions of their daily jobs while thinking constantly about what had happened.
Anger. Feeling that we'd lost control of our precious freedom made many of us angry and we wanted to fight back. While we wanted to pull together, many people wanted to blame security procedures, the government, Muslims, the airlines, past warfare or anything else we could identify to rationalize the tragedy. In stressful moments, we transfer this anger to family members and coworkers. Employees in this stage may criticize even the smallest change in the work environment.
Bargaining. This stage is more difficult to detect because it may go unnoticed. People may plea-bargain with good behavior and think things like: "If I spend more time with my family, can I please live longer and be immune to tragedy?" While desiring more time with family, church or recreation, many workers begin to reevaluate the hours they are spending at work.
Depression. In this stage, people acknowledge the severity of the loss, and feel empty and helpless. Work productivity declines. Employees may show obvious signs of sadness, such as withdrawal behavior from employees who are normally talkative and lively, emotional outbursts, reduced concentration due to lack of sleep, missed deadlines, more errors or increased absenteeism.
Acceptance of the tragedy or loss helps us move into the future. We can see a glimpse of hope, which gives us the strength to move forward. Employees become reenergized with their work and once again enjoy a sense of contribution. The zest and energy return to life and work.
Managing Stress
Now let's look at how managers can help themselves and their employees move forward to the acceptance phase. Probably the best advice for managers at all levels is to drop the stoicism. Acknowledge to your employees that the recent tragedy and loss have indeed impacted your life and that you are also working through the grieving process. See Table 1 for the myths of grieving.
Table 1: The Myths of Grieving
Think you know how to grieve the right way? Think again. The following common beliefs about the right way to grieve are just myths. Instead, look to the Kubler-Ross stages of grieving, a fluid, adaptable framework that allows for personal differences.
1. Don't feel bad.
2. Replace the loss.
3. Grieve alone.
4. Just give it time.
5. Be strong for others.
6. Keep busy.
Source: James J and Friedman R. The Grief Recovery Handbook. 1998; New York: HarperCollins Publishers.
You may have to actively increase stress management skills for yourself and your employees. This could include:
Increasing leisure activity. Finally take that weekend away. Play more.
Sleep more if you need it.
Try to improve nutritional habits. Avoid caffeine, sugars and fats.
Increase physical exercise, an excellent way to relieve stress.
Don't use alcohol, drugs or overeating to alleviate stress.
Assess your stresses and let go of those that are uncontrollable or unimportant. (See Table 2.)
| Table 2: Types of Stress
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Important and Controllable
I'm frustrated that I don't get more exercise.
I'm worried that I'm not completing my work assignments on time. |
Not Important and Controllable
I'm angry that the newspaper carrier keeps tossing the newspaper on the roof.
I'm irritated that no one else in the office makes coffee when the pot is empty. |
Important and Not Controllable
I'm upset that my best friend is moving away.
I'm angry that companies are laying off so many workers. |
Not Important and Not Controllable
I'm depressed about getting older.
It makes me mad when it rains after I wash the car. |
Finding Balance
As a manager, you must balance getting the work done with patience and understanding. This is a tough balance! Managers are already under pressure to meet the bottom line, and now the pressures of a national tragedy have been added.
How long should you allow the grieving process to continue? When should you notice and address a non-performance issue?
People will process their grief differently and in various time periods. One employee may move through the phases in a couple of weeks, while another experiences additional losses and takes longer.
Employees with different personality types may be dealing with the tragedy differently. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® indicates that introverting personality types receive energy from their inner thoughts and may prefer to quietly think about their feelings.2 Extroverting personality types, however, receive their energy from the outer world and may prefer to verbalize their feelings. Managers need to be aware of the different styles and offer a variety of outlets.
If an employee's behavior becomes so dysfunctional that it negatively impacts performance, it is appropriate to intervene and encourage the employee to seek the help of a mental health professional. Managers don't need to be psychologists for their employees. An Employee Assistance Program is an excellent resource to fill this need. These company-paid programs offer employees professional, personal counseling and information to deal with stressful situations. Many organizations are calling upon their EAPs to provide on-site information and discussion about the tragedy. Employees are also reminded that the EAP is an available resource to them. Many Web sites offer advice, information, publications and coping tools. Try www.counselingforloss.com and www.death-dying.com.
If you know that an employee is helping himself or herself, then hopefully you can allow more time for performance improvement.
Engage Employees
Many employees feel the need to reach out and help. Addressing this can help managers and their employees move forward in accomplishing their work. You may want to start a blood drive or raise money for the Red Cross.
Because employees need to feel valued and recognized, provide positive feedback about their work contributions. Recognizing and celebrating work contributions will help employees re-engage in their enjoyment of work.
Give assignments that allow employees to experience smaller successes that eventually lead to bigger, long-term successes. Instead of being overly concerned about that project six months down the road, get done what is necessary today.
The tragic events of September 11 are engraved in the minds of all of us. Moving past this tragedy is indeed difficult, but we must move forward with hope and resume our lives and work.
Reference
1. Kubler-Ross E. On Death and Dying. 1969; New York: Simon & Schuster.
2. Martin, C. Looking at Type. 1997; Gainesville, Florida: Center for Applications of Psychological Type.
Sue Romero is a human resources consultant specializing in employee relations issues, manager coaching, management and team training. She has over 20 years experience coaching managers on enhancing their effectiveness. Her Web site is www.romeroconsulting.com.
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